Urbane Wit

Instructions:
Go to www.urbandictionary.com and type in your answer to each question in the search box, then write the definition it gives you.

1.) Your name? Alise

A-

The most amazing girl in the world. Men fall at her feet and worship her. She is extremely sweet but if you piss her off you better watch out. She WILL kick your ass.

B-

An emo chick that cuts her calfs and goes on phycotic raids on how big of a loser she is,,,, she may also have testacles.

2.) Age? 20

A-

Bag of Weed, costs $20.00 dollars and is enough to make 4 fat joints.

B-

the number before 21 and after 19. generally used when counting.

C-

The age you stop being a teen, the year before you turn 21.

D-

The old age and death of a typical anime character.

3.) One of your best friends? Emily

A- slang term for a highly attractive and sexually intriguing individual.
B-

If you were this girl you wouldn't want to be anyone else, because you would be the most attractive girl to walk the streets. Spending one day with her would not be enough, she is such a nice person she makes Princess Diana look like Hitler. Plus she's well into Bristo.

C-

A song sung by rappers

4.) What should you be doing? Ranting

A-

To speak agressivly about somthing. or to take your own tangent about a subject and talk for a long time in a passionate manner.
B-

To give your two cents on a subject.

C- The Poor White Persons version of RAP, in the sense that it a specific kind of spoken or written format, blending artistic expression, personal experience and politic protest and is usually written for an audience of peers in mind. Like RAP, it is an angry but non-violent form of political expression. Punk Music is to Ranting as Rap Music is to Rapping. Today, poor whites, perform Rants in pubs, pod-casts and on the Internet.


5.) Favorite color? Green

A-

1) marijuana 2) money 3) when somebody is hatin or bein wrong

B-

Political party that never gets respect it deserves

C- A hue of color in between blue and yellow.

6.) Hometown? Bakersfield (okay, well, not really. But whatever.)

A-

With a population of nearly a half million, it is the third largest inland city in California. God knows why, it's a pretty horrible place, with summer (late May-late October) temperatures averaging in the high 90s and air quality that can practically disable you. Winter is short and usually doesn't get colder than 50 degrees in the daytime.
B- Where delionns('08 ers)come from.

7.) Month of your birthday? May

A- may is the month where teachers think that they can control a classroom but really nothing gets done and no one cares about their grades anymore. usually this happens because summer break is only 30 days away
B- The month your parents had sex in if your birthday is in February.
C- cool; sexy; hot


8.) Last person you talked to? Mom

A-

The woman who loves you unconditionally from birth, the one who puts her kids before herself and the one who you can always count on above everyone else. Just telling her your problems makes you feel better because mom's always know how to make it all go away. Even if you fight, know that she's just looking out for your best interests.

B-

a common joke that teenagers use when they are too lame to come up with any other comeback.

9. One of your nicknames? Duck

A-

A duck is a wholly wonderful creature. They also say "quack"

10). Day(s) you're not looking forward to this week? Wednesday

A-

Often known in the Christian religion as Sunday's understudy. A generally normal day. Often called Hump Day, because of it's location in the middle of the week, and by the time Wednesday is done, the week is on a down hill roll.

11.) Now hit random on UrbanDictionary and see what comes up: T Dot

A-

the best place to be

B-

Toronto Ontario, in Canada

Under the Covers

"Yet another creative writing attempt! Constructive criticism always welcome."

So tonight I looked under the covers and found a speck of dust that was your body. I put my finger on that dust. It dissolved into the sweat that was on my skin. Now you’re lost somewhere inside of me, cruising around my body, mingling with the red blood cells and running away from the whites. You’re a foreign invader; they’d get you if they knew you were there.

The next morning I looked under the covers and I found nothing there. The little dust speck that was you had fled from my body. I don’t know how you escaped. I feel certain that the whites didn’t get to you. I can feel your presence in the world. But you’re not inside of me anymore. You’ve left. Maybe you left through my tear ducts, which would be an appropriate way to go. Or perhaps you left through one in a billion pores, taking a ride on the sweat train. Another appropriate way to leave.

I went to work and then to the chiropractor and then to the grocery store today. I thought about you the whole time. When I got home I had forgotten what happened. I rushed into the bedroom and threw back the covers and there was Marty, that dumb white cat you insisted on buying in July. I hissed at the cat and fake-lunged at it. He bolted from the bed and torpedoed out of the room at 100 miles per hour. I searched frantically for you on the bed but all I found was cat hair and dander. After an hour or so I remembered you were dust now.

That night I looked under the covers and found a crumb that was your body. I put you on my tongue and tasted you like I’d done so many nights before. You were chocolate and Burberry and conditioner and now you were inside of me again. I went to sleep peacefully. You were not foreign tonight. The whites would not get you.

The next morning I looked under the covers and I found Marty again. He had snuck in during the night and curled up on your pillow. I petted him and he purred his appreciation. We talked about you until my boss called and asked if I was going to come in today. I told him I was sick, which isn’t a lie, but it’s not the truth either. He told me I was going to have to get on with life soon. Marty licked me with sympathy when I hung up the phone. I wish you had told me you were leaving.