I wasn't sure when school would start to feel like school again, but it happened today. Last week I read my demography book for my (sweet) online class and decided that I would wait a few days to finish the reading response that is due today (Wednesday). As usual with procrastination it is now Wednesday and I still have not completed my assignment. This assignment may be the easiest assignment I've had since my general ed classes at CBU. Here is the question I have to answer: Give two examples of ways in which demography is related to things that can be “ripped from the headlines.”
Sounds simple, right? Sounds like I should be able to whip out a response to 15 seconds, right? Sounds like I could write the answer in my sleep without even reading my demography book, right?
Wrong. Here's why:
I haven't written anything that was supposed to sound intelligent since May. That was three and a half months ago. I feel incredibly dumb. And that is also why I am writing this ridiculous note...because I need to get in the groove, the writing groove, the back-to-school groove.
I always forget what a bummer it is to write intelligently. Over the summer my vocabulary has decreased by about 10% (which may or may not be a random percentage). When I sat down to write the reading response I couldn't think of the specific words that I needed to use to describe any given situation. Stuff, things, something, were all running through my head.
I'm so screwed. This assignment is going to be really really ridiculously badly written (go adverbs!). But that is the way the world turns I suppose. Hopefully the next assignment will progress much better than this first one. Perhaps next time I'll sound more like a college student and less like a fourth grader.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Older, Wiser, Less Inept
Tomorrow I will have the very strange, yet exciting, opportunity to teach the older, retired ladies class at my church. I've been ignoring the lesson all week, because lately I've been feeling very distant from God and I didn't know how I was ever going to pull off teaching these extremely wise and wonderful women. But today being Saturday, the day before Sunday, I hunkered down and pulled out the lesson book and my Bible, hoping that God would be kind to me and make all of this very easy.
The result? Well, He certainly has been kind to me, but this lesson is not easy. The title is Will You Remain Faithful. According to the book, this lesson can impact your life by teaching you how to "commit to follow God's will even when it is difficult, and discover resources that strengthen you as you follow His will in difficult circumstances."
They weren't lying. I only wanted to share a couple of things from the lesson that really got me thinking.
The first part of the book talks about Jesus praying right before he is led away to be crucified. He goes back to God again and again saying the same thing: If there's any way you can do it Father, please take this cup away from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will. I'm so blown away that I've never noticed that Jesus knew exactly what God's will was, but he still struggled with it, so much so that he was sweating blood. Yikes. I think I usually deify Jesus to the point where I forget he was ever human at all.
One of the hardest parts of following God is trying to figure out what the heck he wants me to do in the first place. But more difficult than that is knowing exactly what God wants you to do and wanting very very much to NOT have to follow through. There are various reasons for this: the results of following his will are difficult to deal with and might even by painful, his will just doesn't seem as much fun as other options, etc. What is better? Obedience with difficulty, or disobedience with consequences? Of course, the correct answer is obvious, obedience with difficulty! Hooray! Good church kid answer. Well done. But why? Why is that better? Sometimes disobedience to God doesn't come with immediate consequences, when obedience sometimes, and usually, brings difficulties along with it that are scary and seemingly unpleasant. The reason obedience with difficulty is better than disobedience is because when I willingly follow God's plan, even if it's into the deepest pits of the earth, I can benefit from God's infinite knowledge and resources.
One of the points that this lesson brings up is that difficulty in following God isn't anything new and we definitely shouldn't be surprised by it. I love this verse in 1 Peter: "Dear friends, when the fiery ordeal arises among you to test you, don't be surprised by it, as if something unusual were happening to you." It makes me laugh because I'm always surprised when following God is hard. Oh crap, I think, what a strange situation I'm in. Dear God, shouldn't life with you be easy? I mean, you are God and everything. :D There is a funny thing about following God's will though. Even if it sucks, it is so comforting to know that I'm doing what I should be doing....and it doesn't hurt that I'm stacking up rewards in heaven either. (God knows us so well. He knows we wont love Him and other people just because, so he gives us an incentive.)
So anyway, this lesson rocked. And at the end there was a little list, Five Principles for Dealing with Trials. I love lists. And this one is especially good. And since I'm so nice I will share it with you. Here goes:
Five Principles for Dealing with Trials as found in 1 Peter
1. Anchor your hope in God by faith (1:1-5)
2. Accept trials as God's way of preparing you for eternity (1:6-12; 4:12-19).
3. Authenticate your relationship to God by holy living (1:13-2:12)
4. Appropriate Jesus' attitude of humble submission to others as God's will toward government (2:13-17), business (2:18-25), family (3:1-7), church (3:8-13, 4:7-11, 5:1-7), and society (3,14:4:6).
5. Affirm your absolute confidence in God (5:8-11)
(Did you notice that all five of those start with an "a" word? Pretty clever, huh?)
There it is! The lesson that kicked my butt and that I will be teaching to older, wiser, less inept women. I'm really expecting them to whip me into shape....in a loving way of course. I'd be quite disappointed if they didn't.
The result? Well, He certainly has been kind to me, but this lesson is not easy. The title is Will You Remain Faithful. According to the book, this lesson can impact your life by teaching you how to "commit to follow God's will even when it is difficult, and discover resources that strengthen you as you follow His will in difficult circumstances."
They weren't lying. I only wanted to share a couple of things from the lesson that really got me thinking.
The first part of the book talks about Jesus praying right before he is led away to be crucified. He goes back to God again and again saying the same thing: If there's any way you can do it Father, please take this cup away from me. Yet not as I will, but as You will. I'm so blown away that I've never noticed that Jesus knew exactly what God's will was, but he still struggled with it, so much so that he was sweating blood. Yikes. I think I usually deify Jesus to the point where I forget he was ever human at all.
One of the hardest parts of following God is trying to figure out what the heck he wants me to do in the first place. But more difficult than that is knowing exactly what God wants you to do and wanting very very much to NOT have to follow through. There are various reasons for this: the results of following his will are difficult to deal with and might even by painful, his will just doesn't seem as much fun as other options, etc. What is better? Obedience with difficulty, or disobedience with consequences? Of course, the correct answer is obvious, obedience with difficulty! Hooray! Good church kid answer. Well done. But why? Why is that better? Sometimes disobedience to God doesn't come with immediate consequences, when obedience sometimes, and usually, brings difficulties along with it that are scary and seemingly unpleasant. The reason obedience with difficulty is better than disobedience is because when I willingly follow God's plan, even if it's into the deepest pits of the earth, I can benefit from God's infinite knowledge and resources.
One of the points that this lesson brings up is that difficulty in following God isn't anything new and we definitely shouldn't be surprised by it. I love this verse in 1 Peter: "Dear friends, when the fiery ordeal arises among you to test you, don't be surprised by it, as if something unusual were happening to you." It makes me laugh because I'm always surprised when following God is hard. Oh crap, I think, what a strange situation I'm in. Dear God, shouldn't life with you be easy? I mean, you are God and everything. :D There is a funny thing about following God's will though. Even if it sucks, it is so comforting to know that I'm doing what I should be doing....and it doesn't hurt that I'm stacking up rewards in heaven either. (God knows us so well. He knows we wont love Him and other people just because, so he gives us an incentive.)
So anyway, this lesson rocked. And at the end there was a little list, Five Principles for Dealing with Trials. I love lists. And this one is especially good. And since I'm so nice I will share it with you. Here goes:
Five Principles for Dealing with Trials as found in 1 Peter
1. Anchor your hope in God by faith (1:1-5)
2. Accept trials as God's way of preparing you for eternity (1:6-12; 4:12-19).
3. Authenticate your relationship to God by holy living (1:13-2:12)
4. Appropriate Jesus' attitude of humble submission to others as God's will toward government (2:13-17), business (2:18-25), family (3:1-7), church (3:8-13, 4:7-11, 5:1-7), and society (3,14:4:6).
5. Affirm your absolute confidence in God (5:8-11)
(Did you notice that all five of those start with an "a" word? Pretty clever, huh?)
There it is! The lesson that kicked my butt and that I will be teaching to older, wiser, less inept women. I'm really expecting them to whip me into shape....in a loving way of course. I'd be quite disappointed if they didn't.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
The Way To Go
Well hello there. I've been at my sister's for almost two weeks now. This is the perfect amount of time for a vacation; just long enough for one to experience all the different parts of the vacation and get homesick at the end of the second week. Being away for only one week doesn't really do it for me. In order to really miss my friend and family, I need at least two weeks. Get's the missing juices flowing.
I can't seem to spit out what I really want to say.
I would really like to be sure of what is most important. One of the problems I have with this, however, is that narrowing down what in life is most important is possibly the biggest task anyone could undertake. Today my sister and her husband invited a friend over to have dinner with us. He is getting a doctorate in Eastern religions, particularly Japanese religions. We asked him how he got into all of that. He said that when he was living in Japan he would talk to people about their beliefs and their religion and they would tell him that they didn't consider themselves religious people, they just followed the traditions of Buddhism because those actions were just that: traditions. He said he wanted to know why, and that he hadn't figured out the answer yet.
This insight into the spiritual lives of the Japanese led us to a conversation about religion (for clarity reasons I'm going to refer to religion as just the actions and traditions of a belief system, not the belief itself) and belief and how there are a lot of people who will practice a religion but not believe in what it values or says. My brother-in-law gave examples of a Jewish friend he has who is an atheist in belief, but practices Jewish customs and traditions.
At first I was blown away by this and thought to myself, well that's just stupid. If you don't believe in something, why would you go through the motions. But then I realized, people do just that all the time. Not just people in Japan or in American, but everywhere. Religion to a lot of people is just a cultural practice, something they do to be accepted into their society, something that shows they have the same set of values as the rest of their community. Naturally there is a group of people for whom this is not true; those that really believe and practice religious customs because those things matter to them. But for a lot of people (and I'd say for a majority of people)the things they do at church, in the synagogue, at the mosque, at their dinner tables, are just a big elaborate, and intricate, show of allegiance to their community.
I know, I know, this sounds very "consipracy theory," but the more I think about it, the more I believe it is true. The fact is, believing what your religion says is true and then applying those beliefs to real life is really, really stinking hard. It has become harder as the years go by. I don't know why it has become harder, but my guess is this world has become more and more desensitized to religion. People aren't as willing to put up with religious practices they don't believe in just to fit in with their community. And at least in the United States (based on my limited experience) the community is become less religious and more secular, to the point that being religious and expecting others to do the same is becoming abnormal.
This is not to condemn, this is simply for observation sake. I don't know what to think about this. My first reaction is to get really passionate about my faith and try to think up schemes and plans that would entice people into believing what I believe--really, truly believing. However, that is super, super dangerous--a reaction that leads to legalism, self-righteousness, and even violence.
I think that a lot of people believe that human history was always filled with people who had devout devotion to some kind of belief system. There are all these Greek and Roman temples to the gods, Buddhist and Shinto shrines, Hindu temples that date back to ancient periods. We see these things and we say "Wow! These people really believed in something! And it's like all of them did!"
Maybe a lot of them did, I can't believe that ALL of the people, everywhere, from day one, believed everything they were told. That just didn't happen. Human nature is too strong-willed. Some people might have been scared into submission, and some people really did believe, but I don't think all of them believed in those higher powers at all times. Some people really believed and lived that way. Other people didn't really care, but lived that way because if they didn't they'd get humiliated, or shunned, or killed. Apostacy isn't a new thing. It's not like we haven't struggled to find true believers before. This generation may be "morally bankrupt", but they were no more immoral than any of the generations before them. I think we're simply more upfront about our immorality than the Victorians were. But let's face it, before the Victorians, morality had little to do with true virtue and more to do with reputation. If everyone said you were pure, you were pure. It didn't matter if you were a nymphomaniac baroness with a taste for juveniles.
Is it better to believe and not live like you believe, or to live as if you believe and not really believe?
That question reminds me of a parable that Jesus told. In paraphrase, he said that there was a father who had two sons. He told both of them to go out into a vineyard and work. The first son said, "Sure Dad, I'll get right on it." but he never did. The other said, "Nah, I'm not going to work." but then later he went and worked in the vineyard. Jesus asks those standing around him "Who obeyed his father?" And they answered, "The one to did the work."
Somehow those two things relate, but I'm having trouble figuring out how. That's not for right now. I'll think about it later.
I don't think that the Christian community, as a whole, is being very shrewd. We do not address serious issues with understanding about human nature or with compassion. Our first response is usually to condemn, to throw the first stone. A lot of the time my first reaction is to condemn the problem, and the person who has the problem gets condemned right along with it. We are not nearly as compassionate or loving as we should be. We are prickly people with stone-cold hearts. What's ironic, and incredibly sad, is that the man we believe is God was not like we are. He was open, compassionate--he was in love--and he told us to be more like him and less like our hard-hearted selves.
One more thing before I go to bed. I've been wondering about this one for awhile. Why does the Christian community get so incredibly upset about apostacy? Okay, okay, I understand why it would be upsetting. Lots of people spurn the God we love and that makes us angry. Yeah, yeah. But...shouldn't we be celebrating? Isn't a huge apostacy a sign of Jesus' return? So really it's a...good thing? Sounds incredibly twisted doesn't it? Being happy that people are rejecting God is like being happy that you just shattered your legs in a freak accident. Yay, I'm so excited that I'm going to be in pain and that life is going to suck. But God is always pulling this 'be happy even when life sucks' stuff. He's really good at that. He talks a lot about it, telling us to buck up and look heavenward, don't get so obsessed with how lame this world is that you forget how awesome heaven is.
Love is not complicated. We think it is because human beings are complicated. But love is very simple--it covers.
I can't seem to spit out what I really want to say.
I would really like to be sure of what is most important. One of the problems I have with this, however, is that narrowing down what in life is most important is possibly the biggest task anyone could undertake. Today my sister and her husband invited a friend over to have dinner with us. He is getting a doctorate in Eastern religions, particularly Japanese religions. We asked him how he got into all of that. He said that when he was living in Japan he would talk to people about their beliefs and their religion and they would tell him that they didn't consider themselves religious people, they just followed the traditions of Buddhism because those actions were just that: traditions. He said he wanted to know why, and that he hadn't figured out the answer yet.
This insight into the spiritual lives of the Japanese led us to a conversation about religion (for clarity reasons I'm going to refer to religion as just the actions and traditions of a belief system, not the belief itself) and belief and how there are a lot of people who will practice a religion but not believe in what it values or says. My brother-in-law gave examples of a Jewish friend he has who is an atheist in belief, but practices Jewish customs and traditions.
At first I was blown away by this and thought to myself, well that's just stupid. If you don't believe in something, why would you go through the motions. But then I realized, people do just that all the time. Not just people in Japan or in American, but everywhere. Religion to a lot of people is just a cultural practice, something they do to be accepted into their society, something that shows they have the same set of values as the rest of their community. Naturally there is a group of people for whom this is not true; those that really believe and practice religious customs because those things matter to them. But for a lot of people (and I'd say for a majority of people)the things they do at church, in the synagogue, at the mosque, at their dinner tables, are just a big elaborate, and intricate, show of allegiance to their community.
I know, I know, this sounds very "consipracy theory," but the more I think about it, the more I believe it is true. The fact is, believing what your religion says is true and then applying those beliefs to real life is really, really stinking hard. It has become harder as the years go by. I don't know why it has become harder, but my guess is this world has become more and more desensitized to religion. People aren't as willing to put up with religious practices they don't believe in just to fit in with their community. And at least in the United States (based on my limited experience) the community is become less religious and more secular, to the point that being religious and expecting others to do the same is becoming abnormal.
This is not to condemn, this is simply for observation sake. I don't know what to think about this. My first reaction is to get really passionate about my faith and try to think up schemes and plans that would entice people into believing what I believe--really, truly believing. However, that is super, super dangerous--a reaction that leads to legalism, self-righteousness, and even violence.
I think that a lot of people believe that human history was always filled with people who had devout devotion to some kind of belief system. There are all these Greek and Roman temples to the gods, Buddhist and Shinto shrines, Hindu temples that date back to ancient periods. We see these things and we say "Wow! These people really believed in something! And it's like all of them did!"
Maybe a lot of them did, I can't believe that ALL of the people, everywhere, from day one, believed everything they were told. That just didn't happen. Human nature is too strong-willed. Some people might have been scared into submission, and some people really did believe, but I don't think all of them believed in those higher powers at all times. Some people really believed and lived that way. Other people didn't really care, but lived that way because if they didn't they'd get humiliated, or shunned, or killed. Apostacy isn't a new thing. It's not like we haven't struggled to find true believers before. This generation may be "morally bankrupt", but they were no more immoral than any of the generations before them. I think we're simply more upfront about our immorality than the Victorians were. But let's face it, before the Victorians, morality had little to do with true virtue and more to do with reputation. If everyone said you were pure, you were pure. It didn't matter if you were a nymphomaniac baroness with a taste for juveniles.
Is it better to believe and not live like you believe, or to live as if you believe and not really believe?
That question reminds me of a parable that Jesus told. In paraphrase, he said that there was a father who had two sons. He told both of them to go out into a vineyard and work. The first son said, "Sure Dad, I'll get right on it." but he never did. The other said, "Nah, I'm not going to work." but then later he went and worked in the vineyard. Jesus asks those standing around him "Who obeyed his father?" And they answered, "The one to did the work."
Somehow those two things relate, but I'm having trouble figuring out how. That's not for right now. I'll think about it later.
I don't think that the Christian community, as a whole, is being very shrewd. We do not address serious issues with understanding about human nature or with compassion. Our first response is usually to condemn, to throw the first stone. A lot of the time my first reaction is to condemn the problem, and the person who has the problem gets condemned right along with it. We are not nearly as compassionate or loving as we should be. We are prickly people with stone-cold hearts. What's ironic, and incredibly sad, is that the man we believe is God was not like we are. He was open, compassionate--he was in love--and he told us to be more like him and less like our hard-hearted selves.
One more thing before I go to bed. I've been wondering about this one for awhile. Why does the Christian community get so incredibly upset about apostacy? Okay, okay, I understand why it would be upsetting. Lots of people spurn the God we love and that makes us angry. Yeah, yeah. But...shouldn't we be celebrating? Isn't a huge apostacy a sign of Jesus' return? So really it's a...good thing? Sounds incredibly twisted doesn't it? Being happy that people are rejecting God is like being happy that you just shattered your legs in a freak accident. Yay, I'm so excited that I'm going to be in pain and that life is going to suck. But God is always pulling this 'be happy even when life sucks' stuff. He's really good at that. He talks a lot about it, telling us to buck up and look heavenward, don't get so obsessed with how lame this world is that you forget how awesome heaven is.
Love is not complicated. We think it is because human beings are complicated. But love is very simple--it covers.
Friday, July 31, 2009
The Second Day
I took three tries before I got my Blogger password right. I guess that means I'll never be able to hack myself.
That is....a bit wrong.
Anyway.
I'm not in CA. I'm in another state. And I'm tired. So tired. My sister is a worse night owl than me. And we really shouldn't stay in the same bedroom. We're a high school slumber party gone awry. We don't sleep. This is the second night I've been up all night.
I have a theory about staying up late. Clarification: I have a theory about staying up late and talking with other people. This theory only works if the lights are off, or if you are camping and sitting around a campfire.
It is much easier to talk to someone at night when you can't see their face. Have you ever noticed that to be true? I find it very soothing and reassuring to talk to a person when I can't see their emotions splayed out across their face, waiting for my reception. Saying hard things is easier in the dark and saying sincere, sentimental words are easier in the dark too. And, for me, it is much more comfortable to talk to someone when I don't have to look at their eyes. For some people this is a trust thing. I've heard people say that they don't trust another person who doesn't look them in the eyes when they're talking. But honestly, I get incredibly distracted when I'm looking into a person's eyes while talking and listening. I'd much rather stare at a fixed point or play with something lame, or doodle than look at someone while their talking....or even look at them while I'm talking.
Maybe we (humans) just really like to think that we're secret beings, who can't possibly be vivisected in daylight. Our emotions are too fragile to be seen in the glare of the sun. The moon and the stars are much gentler handlers of the tiny pieces of our hearts. They don't demand resolution or expect an answer. The moon whispers reassurances and the stars smile and dance with us to the music of night breezes. The night is a beautiful time for confession.
That is....a bit wrong.
Anyway.
I'm not in CA. I'm in another state. And I'm tired. So tired. My sister is a worse night owl than me. And we really shouldn't stay in the same bedroom. We're a high school slumber party gone awry. We don't sleep. This is the second night I've been up all night.
I have a theory about staying up late. Clarification: I have a theory about staying up late and talking with other people. This theory only works if the lights are off, or if you are camping and sitting around a campfire.
It is much easier to talk to someone at night when you can't see their face. Have you ever noticed that to be true? I find it very soothing and reassuring to talk to a person when I can't see their emotions splayed out across their face, waiting for my reception. Saying hard things is easier in the dark and saying sincere, sentimental words are easier in the dark too. And, for me, it is much more comfortable to talk to someone when I don't have to look at their eyes. For some people this is a trust thing. I've heard people say that they don't trust another person who doesn't look them in the eyes when they're talking. But honestly, I get incredibly distracted when I'm looking into a person's eyes while talking and listening. I'd much rather stare at a fixed point or play with something lame, or doodle than look at someone while their talking....or even look at them while I'm talking.
Maybe we (humans) just really like to think that we're secret beings, who can't possibly be vivisected in daylight. Our emotions are too fragile to be seen in the glare of the sun. The moon and the stars are much gentler handlers of the tiny pieces of our hearts. They don't demand resolution or expect an answer. The moon whispers reassurances and the stars smile and dance with us to the music of night breezes. The night is a beautiful time for confession.
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Beans
Goodness.
Musicians are sexy. Seriously. I was just watching a video of a guy I know playing the bass. I would never in my entire life be attracted to this boy, but as his fingers were flying up and down the neck of that bass I couldn't help but feel a little drawn to his excellent bassist abilities. I'm a sucker for people who can play instruments. Deep down in my heart I've always known this.
I'm reading another Barbara Kingsolver book. She makes me feel like I'm home. I've always suspected that I should be living somewhere where people talk in southern accents and time goes slower than normal, but I've never been able to get there. Bakersfield is as close as I get, it gets more like LA by the year. The lovely Ms. Kingsolver is a fairly good writer. I'm reading her first book right now; I read a later one earlier this month. The later one was better. I suppose writers get better with time. Who would have thought? :D The story is interesting though. I really want Taylor to meet Jax. He's my favorite character.
Tomorrow I'm going to my grandparent's house to pretend like I'm a country girl who doesn't live in the suburbs. Both my grandparents are going crazy. My whole family is sad because at some point in the near future we're going to have to get rid of their 11 acre property that we've all come to love so much. In a fit of silliness one night, my mom suggested that I move in with them and take care of them, the house, the property, and go to school. That plan is part pleasant dream and part nightmare.
Tonight my mom and I were talking about the future like we were two thirds of the Fates. I felt so out of control and small that I got frustrated and then angry. I have to work to remember that God is the one taking care of all this shadow and nonsense.
Musicians are sexy. Seriously. I was just watching a video of a guy I know playing the bass. I would never in my entire life be attracted to this boy, but as his fingers were flying up and down the neck of that bass I couldn't help but feel a little drawn to his excellent bassist abilities. I'm a sucker for people who can play instruments. Deep down in my heart I've always known this.
I'm reading another Barbara Kingsolver book. She makes me feel like I'm home. I've always suspected that I should be living somewhere where people talk in southern accents and time goes slower than normal, but I've never been able to get there. Bakersfield is as close as I get, it gets more like LA by the year. The lovely Ms. Kingsolver is a fairly good writer. I'm reading her first book right now; I read a later one earlier this month. The later one was better. I suppose writers get better with time. Who would have thought? :D The story is interesting though. I really want Taylor to meet Jax. He's my favorite character.
Tomorrow I'm going to my grandparent's house to pretend like I'm a country girl who doesn't live in the suburbs. Both my grandparents are going crazy. My whole family is sad because at some point in the near future we're going to have to get rid of their 11 acre property that we've all come to love so much. In a fit of silliness one night, my mom suggested that I move in with them and take care of them, the house, the property, and go to school. That plan is part pleasant dream and part nightmare.
Tonight my mom and I were talking about the future like we were two thirds of the Fates. I felt so out of control and small that I got frustrated and then angry. I have to work to remember that God is the one taking care of all this shadow and nonsense.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Sickness of Hearts
Have you ever had a sick heart? Anger really does take me apart, one piece at a time.
I'm not going to molder anymore because of these emotions. They go one way, my sense goes another way. This battle is classic!
I'm not going to molder anymore because of these emotions. They go one way, my sense goes another way. This battle is classic!
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Lucky Duck
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m stuck here in Bakersfield
Waiting to come and meet you
Waiting to give you a hug and show
You how much I’ve changed
And how much we can really like each other now.
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m sitting here in my room
Thinking of all the books you’ve read
And recommended like the teacher you are.
I miss your brown hair and gray-blue eyes
Looking at me with fire, spunk and wit.
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m just a party girl in Bakersfield
Waiting for God to show up
And change everything around
So that life isn’t recognizable anymore
He’s already done that for you hasn’t he?
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m still awake at 4 a.m.
Sneezing and feeling good-naturedly jealous
Think about what it will be like
To see you in Newark, New Jersey
Shining with the gloss of a sun kiss.
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m just 21 years old
Still too young to have such an old soul
And maybe when I’m older and
Your children want to come live
With their naughty aunt I’ll be satisfied.
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m thinking about how much
This whole world with all its bells
And jangles and whistles, with all its
Happiness and sadness and jealousies
Could never amount to how much I love you.
And I’m stuck here in Bakersfield
Waiting to come and meet you
Waiting to give you a hug and show
You how much I’ve changed
And how much we can really like each other now.
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m sitting here in my room
Thinking of all the books you’ve read
And recommended like the teacher you are.
I miss your brown hair and gray-blue eyes
Looking at me with fire, spunk and wit.
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m just a party girl in Bakersfield
Waiting for God to show up
And change everything around
So that life isn’t recognizable anymore
He’s already done that for you hasn’t he?
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m still awake at 4 a.m.
Sneezing and feeling good-naturedly jealous
Think about what it will be like
To see you in Newark, New Jersey
Shining with the gloss of a sun kiss.
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m just 21 years old
Still too young to have such an old soul
And maybe when I’m older and
Your children want to come live
With their naughty aunt I’ll be satisfied.
You’re in London lucky duck
And I’m thinking about how much
This whole world with all its bells
And jangles and whistles, with all its
Happiness and sadness and jealousies
Could never amount to how much I love you.
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