The Coin Flip Tournament

When I was at CBU I took at a New Testament survey class. My professor really opened my eyes to, well, God. This sounds very ridiculous considering my pastor's kid upbringing and the various pride-filled stunts that I pulled at church the show everyone just how spiritual I was. I was a liar for most of my childhood and adolescence, but that's hardly worth talking about right now. One of things that I learned in my New Testament survey class (besides all the life-changing Biblical connections that were made that I had never before seen) was that casting lots can actually be a way of discerning what God's will is for you. The first time my professor talked about this I thought he was absolutely crazy. But really, the thought just terrified me. What if you knew exactly what God wanted you to do? Some people might think that would be the most awesome occurance ever, but I beg to differ. Why? Because I know that if God explicitly reveals His will for me, I HAVE to do it. I have no choice. There's no wiggling out of it by making excuses or pretending that I didn't get the message straight. I'm obligated. Obligation makes me nervous.

But more than making me nervous (and despite making me nervous), casting lots to decide God's will really excited me. And since then I have always wanted to try it.

-------------

Last week I came to my senses and realized that my heart had been dull, dead, and numb for more than a few months. And since God has graciously given me the kind of friends who will kick my butt into shape--free of charge might I add--I felt super motivated to do something about my spiritual lameness. So I buckled down, went to a Christian bookstore and stood nervously in front of the "Bible Study" section. What to choose, what to choose. They all looked so good. Actually, that's not true. Some of them looked good, others looked fairly interesting, while a few looked truly terrifying and difficult.

I have to be honest here. I usually judge books by their covers. I confess to it, but I don't repent. The book that I ended up with was actually on the bottom of my "to choose" list because it had an exceptionally boring and ugly cover. And the title made me a little nervous. More on that later...

Anyway, I looked at all the books and read their back covers. Then I prayed, a little half-heartedly, that God would show me the book He wanted me to use, the study that would guide me through His scriptures because I have such trouble doing it on my own. As soon as I prayed this I thought, "I might as well just flip a coin" and as soon as I thought this I got super nervous and giddy.

So I did.

I lined up all the books on the floor and eliminated potential studies tournament style. Heads was the keeper and would go on to the next round. Finally I got to the last two. One was on being seduced into sin and the other was about spiritual gifts. I was rooting for spiritual gifts as it seemed safe--a fun read or something along those lines. I flipped the coin and it landed on top of the seduction book. Tails! Spiritual gifts it is-----

And then the coin fell off the book and onto the ground heads side up.

Seduction and sin.

I thought to myself, "What do I do now? Was that a fluke? Which one should I go with?"

So like an idiot, of course, I decided that I would flip the coin again. Here's where you think it's going to land on heads and I'm proved wrong, it wasn't a fluke, I should go with the seduction book, etc. But you'd be wrong, it landed on tails and I was thoroughly confused. But instead of trying again and freaking myself out, I decided that God is powerful enough and smart enough to know what's good for me the first time He makes a decision and I went with the scary seduction and sin book. It's called When Godly People Do Ungodly Things. It's about how Satan seduces godly people into sin through deception and seduction.

Which, it turns out, is freaky stuff--and I'm only four days into it. (As if we didn't know this already)

But it's exactly what I needed to hear and has pointed me to the most wonderful and instructive verses. As if God didn't know that already.

So, hopefully, there will be more to come about Satan and his wiles. My eyes have already been blasted wide open with just four short days, I can't imagine how much more God is going to teach me about our enemy who is ridiculously good at deceiving us....so good that we forget he's there. Oooh that makes me shiver. Let's all thank and praise God that He is way more power and in control than Satan ever will be!