Beans

Goodness.

Musicians are sexy. Seriously. I was just watching a video of a guy I know playing the bass. I would never in my entire life be attracted to this boy, but as his fingers were flying up and down the neck of that bass I couldn't help but feel a little drawn to his excellent bassist abilities. I'm a sucker for people who can play instruments. Deep down in my heart I've always known this.

I'm reading another Barbara Kingsolver book. She makes me feel like I'm home. I've always suspected that I should be living somewhere where people talk in southern accents and time goes slower than normal, but I've never been able to get there. Bakersfield is as close as I get, it gets more like LA by the year. The lovely Ms. Kingsolver is a fairly good writer. I'm reading her first book right now; I read a later one earlier this month. The later one was better. I suppose writers get better with time. Who would have thought? :D The story is interesting though. I really want Taylor to meet Jax. He's my favorite character.

Tomorrow I'm going to my grandparent's house to pretend like I'm a country girl who doesn't live in the suburbs. Both my grandparents are going crazy. My whole family is sad because at some point in the near future we're going to have to get rid of their 11 acre property that we've all come to love so much. In a fit of silliness one night, my mom suggested that I move in with them and take care of them, the house, the property, and go to school. That plan is part pleasant dream and part nightmare.

Tonight my mom and I were talking about the future like we were two thirds of the Fates. I felt so out of control and small that I got frustrated and then angry. I have to work to remember that God is the one taking care of all this shadow and nonsense.