The Second Day

I took three tries before I got my Blogger password right. I guess that means I'll never be able to hack myself.

That is....a bit wrong.

Anyway.

I'm not in CA. I'm in another state. And I'm tired. So tired. My sister is a worse night owl than me. And we really shouldn't stay in the same bedroom. We're a high school slumber party gone awry. We don't sleep. This is the second night I've been up all night.

I have a theory about staying up late. Clarification: I have a theory about staying up late and talking with other people. This theory only works if the lights are off, or if you are camping and sitting around a campfire.

It is much easier to talk to someone at night when you can't see their face. Have you ever noticed that to be true? I find it very soothing and reassuring to talk to a person when I can't see their emotions splayed out across their face, waiting for my reception. Saying hard things is easier in the dark and saying sincere, sentimental words are easier in the dark too. And, for me, it is much more comfortable to talk to someone when I don't have to look at their eyes. For some people this is a trust thing. I've heard people say that they don't trust another person who doesn't look them in the eyes when they're talking. But honestly, I get incredibly distracted when I'm looking into a person's eyes while talking and listening. I'd much rather stare at a fixed point or play with something lame, or doodle than look at someone while their talking....or even look at them while I'm talking.

Maybe we (humans) just really like to think that we're secret beings, who can't possibly be vivisected in daylight. Our emotions are too fragile to be seen in the glare of the sun. The moon and the stars are much gentler handlers of the tiny pieces of our hearts. They don't demand resolution or expect an answer. The moon whispers reassurances and the stars smile and dance with us to the music of night breezes. The night is a beautiful time for confession.